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The ball and chain and I went on something of a mini vacation last weekend. While we had a good time, I think it says a lot about the two of us that pictured below is the highlight of our trip.
It’s true. An honest to god Masturbating Bear. What led us to this point, well, that’s a long damn story.
See, when the wife got her promotion a couple months ago, we went into high gear searching for a house only to be incredibly disappointed by the first 20 or so that we had a chance to see. We were getting stressed and I was staring down another fall/winter season at the sports desk when my lovely bride suggested we take some time for ourselves to cool our jets. We were looking online for some coo trips to Maryland and Colorado, hell, anywhere that wasn’t here.
Two days later we found our house and two days after that, our offer was accepted. Needless to say, that whole down payment thing will take some craftiness on our part even without dropping a grand on a four day vacay. We had to downsize.
So we went to Omaha for a night instead. Woo hoo! Omaha! There are actually big fiberglass O’s with exclamation points behind them (or in front, depending on which side you stand) all over the downtown area. I don’t get too excited about anything relating to Nebraska…except the odd Rolling Stones Concert, but we did have a good 24 hour excursion.
And it began at the Omaha Zoo. I don’t remember the last time I went to a zoo, but it couldn’t have been in the last decade. I was, of course, reminded of why I don’t like big public anything (or the idea of children, not just having them, but the idea of them altogether) when sickening and sweaty cornhusker mothers screamed at their children all around us, but I did have a good time. And it resulted in my first meeting with a masturbating bear.
The first time we walked past the Sun Bear dwelling, he was snoozing and nearly out of sight. But after a trip through the gorilla compound we came out atop the bear village. Zoos name their lockdowns very creatively.
So this guy was drawing quite a bit of attention, perched atop about a 40-foot tree in a full reclined position and itermitently flopping his junk around at the onlookers below. It was awesome. Suddenly the cornhusking mothers (who, by the way, were decidedly louder that the kids at which they were yelling to “Shut the fuck up!”) shut their own yappers and hustled their children past the bear. Meanwhile, every 20-something man within half a mile converged on the scene and shared a moment of uproarious laughter. Highly enjoyable.
That night we had dinner at an excellent brewry/restaurant that led to this new banner on Second Effort. Now that I’ve figured out how to change it, I probably will every three months or so. You know, about as often as I write a post.
